Diagnosing Internet Intolerance

Recognizing A Natural Resistance to Modern Social Media Culture

Bless me algorithm for I have sinned, it’s been 23 weeks since my last Instagram post.

I’ve been not-so-quietly observing the impact of our “always on” digital culture in the last few years, and found that there has been a shift happening. The pandemic increased our dependence on screens, and we never went back. With the increased eyeballs from social media users, our favorite platforms for entertainment and connection became cluttered with one ad, infomercial and piece of content after another. And as attention became more competitive, the content factory was born.

A “content factory” is a term I’ve used for years to describe the constant production of content to meet demand. Content is being produced to meet a quantity quota, which many will say is a 3-time-a-day minimum. Many business leaders and coaches continue to emphasize the need to post more in order to get more reach and visibility.

And with this false sense of urgency to keep the content assembly line going, burnout and fatigue are inevitable. In a decade, social media went from being a novelty to a daily habit for many. As the use of social channels increased, so did the use cases. Places that were digital water coolers and virtual gathering spaces for family and friends, became a non-stop marketplace where attention, goods, and services were for sale.

But I don’t think it stops there. Social burnout and performance fatigue are simply symptoms of what I believe to be a bigger issue, a term I have developed called Internet Intolerance.

Internet Intolerance

noun: Internet Intolerance; adjective: Internet Intolerant

1. unwillingness to accept or tolerate the excessive demands, pressures, and culture of modern social media.

2. the inability to constantly participate in content creation, online persona management, and mindless consumption without adverse affects on mental health, self-esteem, and energy levels.

Internet Intolerance is a lot like lactose intolerance - it's not something you choose, it's the way you react to what you consume. You wake up each day and feel this natural resentment to the demands of social media and experience the "ick" scroll after scroll. It involves consciously opting out of the performative expectations of online platforms and behaviors that have been deemed as “best practice.” It’s a conscious rebellion to social media addiction.

Even though I love and enjoy pizza and mac&cheese in the moment, I always end up feeling horrible after. It’s the same with social media. There are some people who can participate on social platforms and it fuels them, while others like me are left regretting the consumption.

Signs You're Internet Intolerant:

1. You frequently feel digital fatigue. You’re left feeling overwhelmed by the volume of information, opinions, and content online.

2. You’re not wired like everyone else. You’re shy, socially awkward, neurodivergent, highly sensitive, introverted, have a disability, mental illness or sensory disorder which can make it difficult to process the digital noise and engage at the same pace as others.

3. You resent aesthetics. Curated feeds make you want to scream. ****You feel pressured to create unaligned content: like reels when you loathe video, or carousels when you suck at graphic design.

4. The constant consumption overstimulates you. You feel physically and mentally depleted after spending extended periods of time online. Comparison syndrome and FOMO drain you.

5. Consumerism gives you the ick. The small screen QVC matrix we are trapped in makes you want to scream. You can’t take another link or infomercial disguised as content.

6. You’re enmeshed with your business. There is a toxic overlap between your identity, emotions, and boundaries with the operations, success, or challenges of your business.

We all know social media platforms trigger the same neural circuitry in the brain that is caused by gambling and the brain's reward area has a similar chemical reaction as seen with drugs like cocaine (Addiction Center, 2024). And gambling is exactly what we do. It's like we're all sitting at the social media slot machines, furiously pulling the lever and chugging the free vanity metric cocktails in hopes of hitting the jackpot. Each like, share, and comment is just another ringing bell and flashing light, teasing us with that dopamine rush. We can't tear ourselves away, even as we know deep down it's a highly engineered casino designed to keep us glued to the screen, feeding the habit.

If we know this behavior is unhealthy and not as effective as years past, why don't more people just quit? Because we have cognitive biases that distort our perspective and livelihoods that feel dependent on the eyes social platforms provide.

The Cognitive Biases Keeping Us Stuck:

1. Sunk Cost Fallacy: We've sunk so much time, energy, and resources into building up our social media presence, telling ourselves it'll pay off eventually or again. We ignore the lack of current results because we can't stomach the idea of all those previous years of effort or accruing of followers being wasted.

2. Loss Aversion: The thought of losing our carefully curated audience and brand on one platform completely terrifies us. We'd rather keep trying the same tired, ineffective strategies than risk starting over on a new channel, even if that new platform or approach could bring us greater joy and success.

3. Anchoring Bias: We cling to the memory of that initial surge of followers and engagement we got when we the feeds were chronological and we weren’t at the mercy of algorithms. We refuse to accept that the game has changed, that the platforms’ algorithms have evolved, and that what worked back then just doesn't cut it anymore. We're anchored to the past, unable to adapt.

4. Social Proof: We fall into the trap of mimicking the online behaviors of people we see as "successful," even if they’ve had a head-start and their current ROI has more to do with their time in market, than with the effectiveness of their content or social presence.

The combination of these deep-seated cognitive biases makes it incredibly difficult to break free from our unhealthy attachment.

Internet Intolerance and Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurs in particular find themselves stuck in social media addiction. The pressure to post consistently, build an audience, and make money online easily override any need for a digital detox, strategy pivot, or account deletion. Let's be real - for many entrepreneurs, their revenue depends on maintaining a strong social media presence. This relentless focus on personal branding and account monetization further intertwines the entrepreneur with their online persona, making it even harder to step away.

If anyone know this, it’s me. For years, social media and I were frenemies, dealing with each other as a way to stay connected to my following, even if I only interacted with a handful of them in real life. I clung to what social media had done for me and what it might do, while ignoring how it was chipping away at my peace of mind. Quitting was hard, which proved it was an addiction.

The constant need to show up, perform, and be present online had become a compulsion that left me feeling empty and drained. It was exacerbated by the prioritization of short-form video content. Once we started pointing at words on Reels and doing tik tok dances while giving business tips, I was done.

My depression diagnosis in 2021 became my wake-up call. It pushed me to take radical steps toward healing, including detoxing from Instagram. What started as short month-long breaks quickly became semi-permanent sabbaticals. Currently, I don't have Instagram on any device nor do I consume content on the platform. When I do post, I schedule them through Meta Business Suite and move on with my day. My Tik Tok and Thread usage is limited to 15 minutes total per day using the iPhone app settings.

This decision saved my mental health and opened my eyes to a larger issue — our over-reliance on personal branding as a marketing strategy and the limiting belief that being top of mind is more important than anything else. I believe that we need to learn how to build businesses, not personal brands, but I’ll touch on this in another essay.

What to do when you’re Internet Intolerant

If you've read this and found yourself nodding in agreement, then it's time to take action. This isn't a character flaw, you being disobedient to your coach’s recommendations, or a weakness - it's simply the way your brain and nervous system are wired. Trying to conform is a recipe for burnout and resentment.

If you’re curious, start with a social media break to reset. Take a week off and work your way up to a month.

Next, get honest about what you're willing and able to do to sustain your online presence. Some ideas are:

• Posting just once a week instead of daily.

• Creating a new account or getting back on Facebook, where you only follow and engage with people you know in real life.

• Switching to other platforms like blogging, podcasts, Linkedin or Youtube.

• Automating more of your content so you aren't required to log on to post.

• Switching over to a static 9 grid.

• Running ads to your best performing content.

If you’re nervous about keeping your business or brand alive, search “Quit social media” on Youtube and start consuming content from people who are where you want to be, so that you can start believing that it’s possible to do things differently.

If it’s not serving you, let it go Elsa. If it is, keep doing you.

Most importantly, don't be afraid to evolve your approach as your needs and circumstances change. What works for you today may not work in a year's time. Stay nimble, experiment, and most of all, prioritize your sanity over outdated social media "best practices."

What you need to remember about Internet Intolerance:

• It's an innate, involuntary state after having reached a limit or threshold with the relentless nature of modern internet culture

• It manifests as a visceral, instinctive aversion or discomfort

• It can arise after previous over-engagement with social media

Just as with lactose intolerance, Internet Intolerance is a personal disposition that develops, often after having been on the content hamster wheel or bearing witness to the addictive social media landscape for too long. Recognizing and identifying it is the first step, allowing you to work on resetting your relationship with platforms and online culture to something that works for you.